4. Why do you think women are more likely to live to 100 than men?
First, woman has more healthy diet than man. Like, "Simpsons". Homer is fat but Marge is thin. Because Homer eats alot of meat, oily food and doesn't eat vegetables.
Second, man are lazy like me. Man are like to play games and doesn't like to play outside. Some mens like outsides but now days we have Xbox360, iPhone5s, Wii. With Wii we can play tennis and golf and more. With the iPhone5s, we don't have to go outside to buy somthing. We just order on Amazon or iTunes. Man, that's ease.
And last, many foods has alot of oil. Even, rice sometimes has oil in it. In japan many people are now having app call DebuCheck. This app can mesreue your wight and oil that you were taking last month or week. People should download this app because it is really useful. My friend who is really fat likes this app because he said that if he ate mcDoland's big mac this app can tell him how it is in his body.
I think that's all.
Well, bye!!!
Hi Kohei,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your work. The debucheck app sounds interesting, I might have to download it!
You made some good points in your post about why men don`t tend to live as long as women. However, I think you could have developed your argument a little more. What other factors may influence women living longer than men? Also, near the end you started to go off topic. More structure (an introducion, followed by some sentences presentating your main arguments and a conclusion at the end) will help keep you on task and develop your argument more logically.
Scott